How applying makeup helps my wife overcome her anxiety
The simple ritual has become Jill's way of pushing back against Huntington's
My wife, Jill, has Huntington’s disease — a rare, neurodegenerative illness that can seem to rule her life. One of the hardest things to deal with is Jill’s nearly constant worrying about going places. It’s difficult to watch, but for Jill, it can be a nightmare to experience. She has promised to keep fighting the voice that tells her she can’t leave the house.
What’s the newest trick in her arsenal? Applying makeup.
Whenever we have plans to leave home , Jill settles into a routine that, at first glance, seems ordinary. She takes out her makeup bag, finds her spot on the couch in our living room, and begins her preparations. She often says it’s because the lighting is better there. I suspect, though, it’s not just about the lighting. It’s about the comfort of having the TV on in the background, grounding her in something familiar and safe.
At first, I didn’t think much of this ritual. It seemed like a simple act of getting ready, something we all do. Recently, however, curiosity got the better of me. Watching her as she carefully applied foundation and dabbed on blush, I told her she didn’t need the makeup — she was already beautiful. Jill smiled at my attempt to make her laugh, but her response stopped me in my tracks.
“It’s not for you,” she said.
When I asked her what she meant, her answer was something I didn’t expect. Jill explained that her “Huntington’s brain” often tries to talk her out of going out at all. On those days harder, she whispers doubts, convinces her she doesn’t have the energy, and questions if she’ll enjoy herself or if she’ll embarrass us. Sometimes it wins, and we cancel our plans.
But this simple ritual of applying makeup has become her way of pushing back.
“It’s my way of telling that voice, ‘Not today,’” she said, looking up from her mirror with a determined smile.
Hearing her words felt like a revelation. The couch, the makeup bag, the seemingly unremarkable process — it wasn’t just about appearance. It was about readiness, both mental and emotional. It was about reclaiming control in a life that often feels dictated by the unpredictable nature of Huntington’s. It was Jill saying, in her own quiet way, that she would not be defined by the illness.
I told her how proud I was of her and how much I admired her strength. Jill shrugged it off, as she often does with compliments, but I could see in her eyes that she appreciated being seen — not just for her struggle, but for her victory.
Since then, every time I see her on the couch applying makeup, I feel a surge of love and admiration. It’s not just a prelude to an evening out; it’s a battle fought and won. Every brushstroke is an act of defiance against the limitations Huntington’s tries to impose.
Note: Huntington’s Disease News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Huntington’s Disease News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Huntington’s disease.
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Comments
Will
Nice story . Gotta keep battling’
Celain Teichman
I am 62 with HD and like your wife I have chosen to not let HD define me. I’m defining it.