No puns allowed: Another funny Valentine’s column for my punny

For the past four years, I’ve written something romantic for my wife, Jill, in honor of Valentine’s Day. This year is no different. Please note that what I’m about to share is imaginary. Jill and I never met in the manner in which I’m about to describe, and we’ve never belonged to the groups mentioned. What is truthful is that she’s gene-positive for Huntington’s disease.

Scene 1: The end of a Puns Anonymous meeting.

Facilitator: Does anyone have anything to add before we end our meeting?

Carlos: I appreciate knowing there are others like me. It makes me feel less alone.

Facilitator: We appreciate you having the courage to show up.

Carlos: And now the real work begins.

Facilitator: Yes. No puns allowed. Good luck everyone.

[They all leave. Carlos enters the elevator. The only other person on it is Jill.]

Jill: So where’d you just come from?

Carlos: PA.

Jill: That’s where my family is from!

Carlos: No, I mean, I just came from Puns Anonymous.

Jill: That doesn’t sound like a lot of pun.

Carlos [laughing]: No, it wasn’t. What about you? What meeting were you just at?

Jill: An HD one.

Carlos: You attended a meeting in high definition?

Jill: HD means Huntington’s disease.

Carlos: Oh. What’s that?

Jill: A neurodegenerative illness that’s been described as the equivalent of having Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, and ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease, simultaneously.

Carlos: That sounds intense.

Jill: You get used to it. It runs in families.

Carlos: I’m sorry to hear this.

Jill: My dad had it, and so do multiple people on his side of the family.

Carlos: So what brought you here? Is there an HD Anonymous group?

Jill: Yeah.

Carlos: So what’s that like?

Jill: Basically, a bunch of people sit around not talking about having a rare disease.

Carlos: Isn’t the point of these meetings to actually talk about the elephant in the room?

Jill: Many people with HD don’t like to admit they have HD or talk about it.

[The elevator reaches the first floor. Carlos and Jill exit the elevator.]

Carlos: Are you one of those people?

Jill: I used to be.

Carlos: I’m glad you’re not.

Jill: Thanks. Nice meeting you.

Carlos: Ditto. Hope to see you again.

Scene 2: The end of an HD Anonymous meeting.

Facilitator: Thank you, Jill, for sharing. I hope next week more people can talk about what they’re feeling. I wish you all a good evening.

[Jill leaves. Standing by the elevator is Carlos.]

Jill: We meet again.

Carlos: Hi. What’s your name?

Jill: Jill. What’s yours?

Carlos: Bond. James Bond.

Jill: Does this mean you have a license to Jill?

Carlos [laughing]: Let the record show that you said a pun, and I didn’t.

Jill: So, Mr. Bond …

Carlos: Actually, my name is Carlos.

Jill: So, Carlos, does the fact that we’re no longer anonymous to each other mean anything?

Carlos: It means we should get to know each other.

Scene 3: Present day. It’s Valentine’s Day, and Jill and Carlos are sitting on their sofa at home.

Carlos: I know you don’t believe in Valentine’s Day. But do you remember the day we introduced ourselves to each other?

Jill: You mean the day you said you were James Bond.

Carlos: Yeah. That day.

Jill: Of course, I remember. I remember everything, remember?

Carlos: You told me a pun on that day.

Jill: I did.

Carlos: But you’ve since told me you don’t like puns.

Jill: I don’t.

Carlos: So why did you use one on that day?

Jill: I’d just watched a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

Carlos: So puns were on your mind.

Jill: Exactly. And then, once we started to fall in love … You can say love is mind, er, blind.

Carlos: Jill, you seem to like puns now.

Jill: I used to hate them, but now they’ve groan on me.

Carlos: I love you, Jill, especially when you use puns.

Jill: I love you, Carlos, even when you use puns.

Carlos: Happy Valentine’s Day, my love!

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Note: Huntington’s Disease News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Huntington’s Disease News or its parent company, BioNews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Huntington’s disease.