Learning my daughter’s language through the music of Taylor Swift
Becoming a Swiftie has helped me process my family's Huntington's experience
I never thought I’d be driving to work listening to the Kelce brothers interview Taylor Swift about her upcoming “Life of a Showgirl” album on their “New Heights” podcast. At 61, my musical tastes have been pretty set for decades: Give me some Bruce Springsteen or U2, and I’m happy.
But there I was recently, listening intently to the interview, hanging on every word, because sometimes love makes you want to go deeper than you ever thought possible.
What compelled me to tune in to the podcast? The answer is easy: Huntington’s disease.
A parent’s motivation
My wife, Jill, and daughter, Alexus, are gene-positive for Huntington’s disease. Knowing that has made me intensify my relationships with them, especially with Alexus, since she doesn’t live at home any more.
Ever since she was a teen, Alexus has been passionate about Swift. She’s seen her twice in concert, the first time in the U.S. and the second time in France. She obsessively listens to her albums and watches as many TikTok videos about her as she can.
Because Swift was important to my daughter, I began to listen to her music and read as much about her as I could. I quickly understood the allure. Swift doesn’t just perform songs; she creates emotional experiences that help people process their own lives.
After listening to the podcast, Alexus and I talked about how the pop singer’s approach to processing difficult emotions through her music might offer us a framework for dealing with our own family’s challenges.
“You know what I love most about your Swift journey, Dad?” Alexus said at one point. “It’s that you really get it. When I tell you about a lyrical callback or an Easter egg, you understand why it matters. It’s like we’re speaking the same language.”
Sharing coping mechanisms
Swift’s ability to transform pain into art, to find meaning in difficult experiences, and to create beauty from struggles aren’t just songwriting techniques. They’re coping mechanisms. As my family and I face the reality of Huntington’s, I’ve come to believe that Swift’s approach to examining emotions deeply and honestly might be one of the healthiest ways for us to process what lies ahead. Her music gives us a vocabulary for feelings we might otherwise struggle to express.
During my conversation with Alexus, we also talked about how Swift’s journey of reclaiming her narrative mirrors what we’re trying to do with our family’s story of not letting Huntington’s define us, but instead choosing how to tell our own tale.
“Dad,” Alexus said as we wrapped up our call, “I never expected you to become such a Swiftie, but I’m so glad you did. It’s given us this whole new way to connect, and honestly, her music has probably helped us sift through and talk about our emotions better than we might have otherwise.”
My daughter’s comment reminds me of why it’s been important for me to connect with her through getting to know and grow in admiration for one of her favorite artists. We were always close, but now we’re close in new ways. And if that means being a tail-end Boomer who can appreciate both the lyrics and emotional depth of Swift’s albums alongside Springsteen and U2 records, well, that feels like one of the best investments I’ve ever made.
Because at the end of the day, love isn’t just about being there; it’s about diving deeper, learning more, and finding new ways to say “you matter to me” every single day.
Note: Huntington’s Disease News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Huntington’s Disease News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Huntington’s disease.
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