What to Do When You’re Overthinking Illness

What to Do When You’re Overthinking Illness

Caregiving is an honorable position because it involves a lot of love. It also includes questions that begin with, “What if?”

As you may know, my wife was diagnosed with Huntington’s disease last year. Right now, life is “good.” I put that word in quotation marks because her symptoms are just starting. She is experiencing some anxiety, chorea, and depression, but overall, she is sharp as a tack, hilarious, and as smart as she’s always been.

That said, every once in a while, I start to wonder: What if she gets really angry with me?

What happens when she can’t swallow her food anymore?

What if there’s a recession? What if I lose my job and we can’t afford medication or visits to the doctor?

What will happen when she has trouble walking? What if it’s winter and there’s snow or ice on the ground?

What if she continues to not sleep well? How will a lack of sleep affect her health over time?

What will happen to her if I get ill because I am older than she is?

What if we move to another part of the country, which we’ve been thinking about lately? What if she doesn’t trust her doctors as much as her care team at the Huntington’s Disease Society of America Center of Excellence at Northwestern University? (My wife has white coat syndrome, so it’s difficult for her to see doctors or trust them in general.)

What happens to her pride and self-worth when her mobility deteriorates and she is unable to work?

What if one day my boss decides I can’t take a day off because I want to be with my wife every time she needs to see the doctor? I don’t want her to go to the hospital alone.

What happens if my head explodes because I’m overthinking her illness?

OK. Scratch that last question because after years and years and years of overthinking, if my head hasn’t exploded by now, it probably never will. But as you can tell, based on the questions that have been swirling around my head for months now, I wonder about many “what-if” scenarios. These are reasonable concerns for any caregiver, but I have to finish this column optimistically because it’s in my nature to see the cup as half full.

Raise questions and concerns. We’re all human. That’s what humans do. But remember one thing above all others: Love.

Love can overcome any obstacle. Love can climb any mountain. Love can keep us going. Love always, always, always prevails.

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Note: Huntington’s Disease News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Huntington’s Disease News or its parent company, BioNews Services, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Huntington’s disease.

I am a journalist who, through the grace of God, has been blessed with a brilliant, beautiful and courageous wife and daughter. I love to read, play soccer and share — according to my wife and daughter — really bad puns. (For the record, I think my puns are really punny.)
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I am a journalist who, through the grace of God, has been blessed with a brilliant, beautiful and courageous wife and daughter. I love to read, play soccer and share — according to my wife and daughter — really bad puns. (For the record, I think my puns are really punny.)

2 comments

  1. Linda chase says:

    My husband was diagnosed with Huntington’s 16 yrs ago. He is now choking all the time and has a hard time breathing, walking. It’s hard but he knows me but there’s hardly any conversation. There’s nothing else the doctors can do, and he wants to die. why does this horrible disease punish them and take so long for them to go? Watching your loved one go thru this is horrible for the caregivers. I pray for others going thru this.

    • Carlos Briceño says:

      Hi, Linda,
      Seeing a loved one suffer like that is one of life’s tragedies. It’s tragic for your husband to suffer like that, as well. I have no doubt, despite him not being as responsive as he used to be, that he is grateful for your love and for everything you’ve done for him. And I’m sure you have shown him plenty of love, so, ultimately, if you can, focus on that.
      In the meantime, please try to take it one day at a time.
      Best regards,
      Carlos

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